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… and she becomes shorter every minute.

I remember:
– I did not turn off the kettle.
I whisper:
– incomplete list of my crimes. Another incompleteness in my careless life, which is completely incomplete.
I think:
– What the hell.

I wonder how it is-to die in general, according to the rules, according to the canon.
What does a person feel?
Pain?
Compassion for oneself?
Regrets that he did?
Or about what I did not?
Thinks about loved ones or enemies?
He believes that he did everything right in this life?
Interesting.

Now I am lying on the bed of mortal, and what I feel?
The drama of the moment? No.
I feel the blood pouring from the hand? No.
I recall my legacy, about everything bad that I left behind? No.
I suppose how much more I have to lie on the floor of the bathroom until they find me and are pulled out of the reception room of the world? No.
You know, I’m just lying. Without thoughts. Without emotion. If they gave me a mirror now, then I would see in it a reflection of my eyes glass from the dope of death. All. It also sounds beautiful, but this is far from the true poetry of the deathbed.
What led me to the fact that I am in this state now? Who knows.
I liked to live? No, probably.

I speak:
– Sorry.
https://theredlioncasino.co.uk/ />I speak into the void:
– Everything could be much better.
I pray the silence tearfully:
– Maybe this is not the end?
I look into the dirty floor:
– Maybe it’s all a dream?
I am disappointed:
– And that’s all?

You know, it’s simple. Just spend a razor through the veins. Enough to strain the biceps, pull the palm back a little so that the veins become visible well, gather in spirit and spend a razor in the veins.
If you do it in a hot bath, then you will not feel anything. In addition to feeling, as if your brain flows. Physical exhaustion of the brain – I feel like this. The pulse on the temples will become more frequent, a person can throw in sweat or cold, but the beginning is supposed.

And then how lucky.
Depending on what to mean by this «lucky».

They told me:
– For what?
They told me:
– Think this thought.
They laughed at me:
– You? Well, well.
I was convinced:
– Believe me: you won’t prove anything.
Everyone kept telling me:
– We will be bored for you if that.

Interesting, they are missing? Now, when I’m dying? They are those whom I called people, friends – they miss? They feel anything now?
They will be bored, or for them my death is the ninth and forty days?
Will they remember me in two years? Will they tell their children that he was once filthy, but still a person very interesting for his thoughts?
Dreaming is harmful.

I still want to think that the world is getting better. Although I know not. I still want people around to become better, although I know that this will never happen. And I still want to think that I can do something so that people and the world still become better. Even in this way. So that people understand that nothing is forever. Except for thoughts.
Although useless. People do not want their lives to correct. Nobody wants to solve their problems. Your drama. Your worries. Do not want to start life again. Do not want to streamline life. After all, what will they receive in return? Just a huge frightening unknown.

I speak:
– Well, it was entertaining.
I speak:
– Definitely, that was the pleasure.
I speak:
– Interesting, but how can you have time to cut the second hand?